It’s been a while, folks.
Here’s the low-down:
I’m still living with Todd, though we both have been expanding our social & romantic networks. I’ve been dating a guy named Jeremy, who I first met at the end of April. Todd is seeing a woman named Kim, who he met in May, but is also becoming more intimate with our mutual friend Lia.
I’m technically Jeremy’s “girlfriend,” though I don’t prefer to use titles like that because they denote a property that I don’t really think is necessary. I prefer to view our relationship as friends who fuck sometimes, and hang out and do cool shit.
Fortunately, I really get along with Jeremy’s wife, Bobbi, who is currently out seeking a long term girlfriend.
The coolest thing about all this is that Todd and I get to make new friends, experience novel situations, explore new partners sexually, and continually learn and push our boundaries, and shape ourselves to be stronger, more confident, and more free.
When Jeremy and I started dating initially, it was very uncertain, nerve-wracking and a bit awkward. But as we slowly got to know each other and spent more time together, we realized that we were both open-minded and willing to talk about topics that are typically difficult to talk about.
The first time Jeremy and I had sex was after a very long conversation about our individual desires, needs, “kinks,” and how we expressed ourselves sexually. I don’t really feel shameful about revealing this stuff, but I have to confess that it is pretty fucking amazing to have sex with a new person after being with one person consistently for a few years. Not only is it exciting because of the differences in bodies and kissing styles and how you’re touched, but also exciting in giving another person pleasure, and mapping the skin of another person, and the pure ecstatic rush of wanting to fuck badly because you like them so damn much.
The entire month of May was pretty much a giant clusterfuck of oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. Literally everything I did throughout my day, any activity, was riddled with thoughts of Jeremy– the dreamiest, loveliest thoughts I’ve ever had. Holy shit though, the endorphins of “falling in love” are extraordinary beyond belief. I felt like I was floating in the sky on MDMA for an entire month.
It was definitely an emotionally impulsive time for me. Jeremy and I literally couldn’t keep our hands off each other. We made out any chance we got (i.e. in the backseat of my car at a Target parking lot, down the street from a free clinic in Berkeley, against a tree at Redwood Regional Park). And, to top it off, because we both shared our living spaces with our partners, we had to get creative in where we had sex (i.e. in the backseat of my car at the parking garage of the Chabot Space & Science Center, underneath a tree beside a park at midnight, at The Burlington Hotel at Port Costa, in a room named “Fanny.”)
Yup. We were “like teenagers again,” except I never had experiences like that as a teenager. Hah!
Quite frankly, I can’t remember another time when I felt so insanely infatuated with a person who reciprocated the emotions & sexual attraction. If you feel like you’ve fell out of the dating game loop, get your ass back on there. It’s so fucking worth the risk, if you can experience something like I have.
I kind of want to write more, but I might hold off a little. There’s your update.