Sucked into an unbearable loneliness
it comes over so quickly how does it do it?
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I have this habit where I pretend i’m in an alternate reality and then my imagination creates a separate future that feels right in the moment. Sometimes I wish I could just run off into it and get lost and live something else.
THE BEST LIKE, TWO DAYS EVER
- I met Pete and Luke from Anamanaguchi
- I hugged both of them and shared my thoughts and love through words and they were touched
- Pete ASKED MY NAME, and we traded kandi the right way by doing Peace, Love, Unity => trade
- IT WAS AMAZING
- He drew a cat on my CD
- I can’t believe it
I HAD SUCH A FUN FUN FUN FUN TIME.
And I also got to meet this super cool dude named Curtis and we talked forever. It was so great meeting someone that you just instantly click with! I haven’t felt that in forever!
My pockets are little satchels. I recorded the entire concert.
It’s weird that Kyle’s gone for another like 5 days. I miss him.
I like to know that when I adventure off alone I can still connect with people, I don’t hold back because i’m with someone.
I secretly wanted to dance with you.
we slept in and then had eggs and bacon and rice for breakfast and it was amazing!
life currently
For the past three weeks to a month I have been applying for Jobs in Japan. After my rejection from the JET Program, I just felt so down on myself! Like I wasn’t worthy or something. I don’t know. Kyle’s been supporting me through it- I’m over the JET thing now, but we’ve been helping each other out with resume editing, cover letter writing and all the works. It has been EXHAUSTING.
I’m relieved a bit that I can write here again. I mean… I just have a lot of thoughts and no one to really convey them to. I’m sitting on a leather couch in a giant living room slash playroom. I was asked to stay overnight and babysit a 4 year old, a 10 year old and a 13 year old. I’m attempting to finish one of three lesson plans I have to write up for my Education class.
In other news, I have like, 3 interviews. I interviewed with Interac yesterday. It went well, but I don’t really want to work with them. I have another interview with AMENET, a close-knit school on Kyushu Island:
It’s right by where Fukuoka is circled. Actually, the school is near Fukuoka city. Kyle is probably going to be placed near Tokyo, so i’m aiming for that region. Honestly though- we are prepared to live alone especially because being placed as a couple will probably be near impossible. HOWEVER, the Heart English School’s recruiter interviewed Kyle recently and actually mentioned ME in the interview because I have also been in contact with him. The Heart English School’s locations are only around the greater Tokyo area, and he mentioned that he would totally place us together in the same city! I am crossing my fingers for this. The only sucky thing is, is that they don’t pay for airfare, and the salary isn’t to die for. But living near Tokyo would be AMAZING!
Hm, yeah. It’s weird how your life partner suddenly affects your decisions. Well not suddenly, but subtly. That’s the word. Of course I’d be happy working in a close-knit community at AMENET, but to be days worth traveling apart from Kyle… these are tough decisions. I’m preparing myself for what’s to come. We aren’t allowed to talk about it until we’ve been employed and have booked our one-way tickets.
That’s another SUPER COOL THING about all of this (the future or whatever) is that I finally get to book a one-way ticket to another country! Isn’t that fantastic? I feel like i’ve waited for this moment forever.
Well I’ll stop for now because I should be putting this effort into my lesson plan.
I AM APPLYING TO JOBS IN JAPAN LIKE A MAD WOMAN I JUST WANT FINANCIAL SECURITY BY THE END OF THIS YEAR T____T
CLUB CAFE
Day – Cafe
Night – Club
