I am not feeling okay.
I’m upset. But that’s okay. Because i’m trying to get rid of my defense mechanism. I’d rather feel upset than feel nothing at all.

I should have called him instead of texted–only because he’s the kind of person who doesn’t text back.

Blah.
I really like this picture.

photographie

I question why I don’t put my photography up here.
I need a Flickr Pro account. Sigh.

+ + + +

Think i’m seeing Brian tomorrow.
Usually when I become involved romantically or whatever you call it, I never make the first moves only because I want to know for sure that when I do start giving bits and pieces of my heart and soul to this person, they are worth it. I give him a test, you could say.

But I’m making this a habit of the past.

It might not only be a habit, but a flaw as well. For once I need to rear the lion’s head and go for something. Take a leap. Initiate something. Feel confident, feel feminine and sexy and in control of something, you know? Okay, I have a shy nature, but I want to show passion. I want to exude sexuality and seem romantic. I need to captivate him. I must!

Yes, I have been watching too many chick flicks in a span of 48 hours.

Is this my impatience speaking?
Hello?
Ciao??

Oh no, I feel like I have to get things on the road.
Really.

We had a decent phone conversation today. We’re doing better. I was extremely happy.

I will be bold and say that I shall kiss him passionately next time.
Do I make any sense?
Good night.

And HOLY SHIT he’s hot: