When I get restless, I know it’s that time. For a fact.
Today was Lolo Emong’s 40th day (meaning, his soul will depart tomorrow.)
We feasted and had fun and spent time with family.
However, I was not feeling very people friendly. I just wanted to sit outside, by myself, and breathe in fresh air. I am moody. I called Jun because.. he makes me feel better.
But the good news is that when I think of all the recent happenings, I get butterflies and smile to myself. This is a very good thing. Usually when I am caught not knowing what to do, I instantly throw myself into neutral territory to try and cancel out all feelings to prevent myself from getting hurt. In that process, I ruin my feelings and emerge hollow. Like nothing ever happened. In this case, I almost rendered myself neutral until I talked to close friends and realized that being involved but not being in a relationship is a good thing. I still don’t know what to make of it, but what I told him that night will still prevail: Going with the flow and ending up where ever it takes us.
It’s only been 19 days since I’ve known he existed. It’s so strange. There were times when I wanted to go out there and meet new people, hoping to find someone, and the one day I decide to tag along with my friends to get special pizza in a new town, I meet someone who completely altered my present life.
It truly is strange.
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